Sunday, December 23 2012

Hello my darlings,
Well, the world was said to end on Friday, but last I checked... We're still here motherfuckers!!!
These past few days have been ok. Unfortunately, I caught a cold, so, I am feeling miserable as I type... Grrrr... Hopefully tomorrow I'll be alright. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I am irritated. I am pissed off at the fact that there's no snow (it hasn't snowed at all this year.... FUCK!) and then there will be some family drama to deal with. I must admit that there I don't like 50% of my extended family. But, I also have adoptive family members that I adore. This year, I have met so many new friends at work and online/snail mail (through penpalling) and most of those friends have become my best friends. I also have 7 new big brothers (three from work <Alex, Bernie, and Andre>, and then a guy from Finland, a guy from South Africa, a guy from Algeria and a guy from Iran) and then Bastian and Heinrich (my actual "adoptive" big brothers) Sometimes I feel  more comfortable talking to my friends (and new big brothers) than I do with some family members because they won't judge me and they'll support me. Plus, they will hear me out unlike my mom whenever I try to tell her what goes on in my mind because she and I are polar opposites. Anyway, I'll start talking about the good things today^^
Today I talked to 3 friends of mine. One of which I haven't talked to for a while and missed so much. That same friend made me laugh and smile when I was feeling down (and he didn't even know that I was feeling like shit!) and I just have to say that I love him so much for that! But, I'm still scared of telling him how I feel about him even though I shouldn't be.
We'll see what Christmas brings! Happy Holidays!

12/17/12 9PM

So, these past few days have been crazy as fuck. On Friday, I heard about the shooting and thought to myself: Why would someone even kill children? Those sweet little angels did nothing to deserve it! It made me really sad and angry. It brought tears to my eyes.
On Saturday I auditioned and I might be getting a villain role. I didnt get the exact role(s) I wanted, but, it feels good to be back into acting after a 3 and a half year hiatus.
I've actually been missing a guy I think I've been falling in love with. I haven't talked with him in a week. The worst part is that, he's a penpal (which means he lives faraway) that I've known for almost a year and have gotten closer to lately. We've shared our deepest, darkest secrets with eachother.  We've laughed together, we've cried together and that's what makes me feel like I have a connection with him. I've talked to him face to face, but haven't met in "real life" as they call it... I'm scared shitless to tell him how I feel.
Plus, something happened today that I might talk about later on and I currently have mixed feelings. Fuck.
On a positive note, today I got a letter that I was looking forward to getting. I've been catching up on my penpalling, so, that's a plus! I have a lot of penpals. 2012 was a good year for me to meet friends and possible love interests, like the one I've mentioned a few lines ago...
This week I find out if I still get the villain role and when I start rehearsing. I'll keep you posted.

Mood: Mixed Emotions
Music: Tarja- I Walk Alone

Under Construction

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